Another Bullshit News Story About Looking For “The One”

My morning would have been perfect were it not for this morning news story that I saw while on the treadmill this morning at the gym in my apartment building. There is an enormous flat screen TV in there and others like to watch the news in addition to listening to their iPods. While rocking out to Lady Gaga at the end of my workout, the Chicago NBC affiliate, Channel 5,  ran a story about a women named Neenah who is 43 and lives in New Jersey. She decided that she would spend the year 2009 looking for a husband. She explains on her website:

52 weeks 2 Find Him is a social experiment that focuses on a 43 year-old woman’s journey to find her husband.  It is an online documentary that is shaped by Neenah’s actions and reactions, along with viewers’ participation.  What happens when a woman invites the world to become her dating coach?  Each week, we invite you to tune-in and join-in by helping with Neenah’s search, as she explores: the many methods of meeting eligible men, preparing for dates, and maintaining a healthy, romantic relationship.”

Ugh. One more time, for the cheap seats in the back: Not all single people want to be married. In fact I have been trying lately to enjoy some of the experiences I got to have everyday when I was NOT coupled, like going to the movies on my own or having the apartment to myself when he is away on business. By making your search for a husband public, I think it legitimizes the bogus idea that searching for a husband is what every other single woman should be doing. Here’s what I can tell you about having a husband: it’s good. Not life changing. Not magical. Not sacred. It’s good. Some days it is better than good, and some days it isn’t. I am sure my husband would say the same about having a wife.

I just hate these  stories. By the way, she never did find Mr. Right. And guess what? That was the story this morning – that her grand experiment had failed. The woman reading the news (I don’t call them “journalists” these days – they are mostly “Newsmodels”) even had this look of sympathy on her face, as though this was the saddest thing she had ever heard. For me, the sad part was that this story ran before the story about the President’s reaction to the underwear bomber. Would have loved to have been in the newsroom for that decision.

By the way, if you are interested, I just finished a book called The Meaning of Wife. It is an examination of the modern wife role – and check out the cover. It’s an interesting read. But parts of it will make you mad, I guarantee. It’s like Gloria Steinem once said: “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

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2 responses to “Another Bullshit News Story About Looking For “The One”

  1. Find yourself. And then you won’t need a husband. But you might find one anyways.

  2. Thank you for posting this blog. Recently, my mother broke down in tears about how miserable I am because I’m not married and don’t have a boyfriend. I was floored. She told me some story about how her sister “threw it in her face” about my younger cousin who’s been happily married for two years. It sank in that my own mother may be ashamed of me.

    You know what? I don’t want a husband. I wouldn’t mind having a boyfriend, but at the end of the day–I’m happy. No mortgage, no man. I say, so what?

    When I said I didn’t want kids, she looked like she was going to croak. My poor mom.

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