Rate Your State Part 8: South Carolina

It’s a lovely story, really. Boy meets girl, boy marries and has kids with girl. Boy becomes Governor. Boy tells his staff he is going hiking, but really goes to South America for sex with his Argentine mistress.

The boy we are referring to is, of course, South Carolina Republican Governor Mark Sanford. Yes, marriage is sacred in The Palmetto State. Marriage is so “special” in South Carolina that no other family member, not related by blood, will inherit if there is no will. So if, God forbid, one of those lovely women from the Rosie Family Cruise HBO documentary (you know that adorable lesbian couple who were desperately trying to conceive via artificial insemination) were to die without a will, the other would be shit out of luck. They live in South Carolina.

Yes, The Palmetto State is indeed, heartless.

The way some South Carolinians behave, you’d assume they think they are still living in this time.

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