The Single Girl Slut Shame

I have had several gynecologists in my life. Seven to be exact. I will not reveal their names, but let’s review a few of them shall we:

There was Dr. Because-He-Was-My-Mom’s-Doctor. I didn’t really pick this one, as the name explains. He was a very cold, stately person with a comb-over and no sense of humor. Exactly the kind of guy you want working in your Nether region, right?

Dr. Tennessee: She was great, but had to leave the state I was living in at the time because she could no longer afford the malpractice insurance. She moved back to her home state of Tennessee.

Then there was Dr. I-Inherited-My-Practice-From-Daddy: She was a spoiled Long Island Princess who slut-shamed me in the worst way. I came in for a consultation for sterilization. First she would not even discuss it with me because she thought I was too young to know any better. Then I asked her about IUD’s and she said: “An IUD would not be right for you. There can be complications in patients that contract an STD when they have an IUD. Since you are single, you are likely to have a large amount of sexual partners over the next ten years.”

OK, say it with me: W….T….F….!?!?!

So Single = Disease-Ridden Slut? Apparently it does according to Dr. Inherited-My-Practice-From-Daddy.

And now we have my new OBGYN. Let’s call him Dr. Reasonable. When I visited him a few weeks ago for a sterilization consultation, he walked me through the two different procedures (tubal ligation vs. Essure), told me that Dr. Inherited-My-Practice-From-Daddy had been totally full of crap, and gave me an ultrasound to make sure I have no cysts, as that would complicate either procedure. By the way, if you ever have a chance to take an ultrasound tour of your girly parts, I would suggest doing it. It is fascinating! Although I find the process of reproduction to be more freaky Sci-Fi, rather than natural or miraculous, as others do. “Babies are a Miracle!” Maybe if you are post menopausal or your Uterus has hung a “No Vacancy” sign, but generally, babies tend to happen when you have unprotected sex. Nothin’ miraculous about it, honey.

In short, Dr. Reasonable did not judge me, but gave me accurate medical information and treated me with respect. He then told me to think about it and if I decided that I wanted to go through with the sterilization, he would be happy to do it for me. I have decided to think about it over the summer.

Medical treatment without judgment. Ah, the way life should be.

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3 responses to “The Single Girl Slut Shame

  1. I LOVE that. I’ve been shamed by dentists and by down-there-docs. And I take pretty good care of my gums and my cervix.

  2. As a doctor myself, I must say that the medical profession is NOT objective. You didn’t feel judged by this guy because he probably held the same views as you do. It is imperative for anyone giving another person RESPONSIBILITY for your health, to have the same views and philosophy. If there is something all people need, it is an advocate for health that will LISTEN.

  3. I don’t think my current gyn is all that great, but what I do like about her is her opinion of the FDA/Bush Administration’s approval of Gardisil only for women under 27 (“they assume that if you’re over 27 you’re either married, a slut who already has every strain of HPV, or an old maid who will never have sex anyway”). She advised me to get the vaccine, even though it cost almost $500 for “unapproved” women and said she actively wrote to the FDA and Merck on a regular basis to get it approved for women up to 50!

    The one thing I really don’t like about pretty much all of women’s medicine though, is that the entire field has been so focused on pregnancy and not much else that there is just SO much that is just swept under the carpet. For example, I suffer from extreme PMDD and I have PCOS. But even the best doctors no almost NOTHING about these things, and all the treatments are just quick fixes. For example, if you have these problems, they just put you on the pill. Which yes, help a lot. But that’s not what the pill is for, and of course, you get all the downsides of the pill when you’re not even having sex and don’t need it for contraception! Instead of looking for treatments that go to the cause of these problems- or hell, even figuring out the causes in the first place!- they just slap the pill on every problem. In a way I regret not going into medicine, because I feel like then I could DO something about this.

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