My husband was admitted to the hospital Thursday night with chest pains. I dropped him off at the entrance to the emergency room and he was sent to triage where they took his vitals. I parked the car and ran into the ER to find him and make sure he was alright.
I uttered this declaration to the triage nurse: “I’m his wife.“ And just like that, I was allowed to go back and be with him throughout the entire process, save for the ex-rays and ultrasounds. I was also able to fill out his insurance information for him while he was examined, which I would not have been able to do if we were not married. He’s fine, thank goodness. They think it was probably a esophageal spasm, which can sometimes mimic the symptoms of a heart attack. Whew!
Now I am sure that there are hospitals that let girlfriends or domestic partners have the same privileges as married couples. But if they did not, a person would have no legal ground to stand on to force them to do otherwise absent a law giving a person the right to be with their partner in a medical emergency. My point is simple: In a hospital emergency, there are only 4 words that mean anything: spouse, parent, child, or sibling. Other than adoption, marriage is the only way to create a “next-of-kin” relationship with someone that is not a blood relative. Unfortunately we have not yet reached the Promised Land where all couples have equal rights – I hope we get there someday soon.
5 responses so far ↓
Jenn // September 27, 2009 at 10:12 pm |
One thing I’ve always been curious about: did anyone ask you to somehow *prove* that you are married? I’ve always wondered because I can’t really imagine how you would prove it on the spot if asked (other than showing a marriage certificate, which I’m guessing most people don’t carry around with them). I totally think the world will be better off when that distinction isn’t necessary but I’ve also sort of always assumed that if the situation arose, I could just lie (of course, my partner’s family and everyone else in our lives would back me up – I can see how it could be a very different scenario if anyone in his family thought I shouldn’t have those rights).
Therese // September 28, 2009 at 7:52 am |
I didn’t have to prove anything! I just said the word “wife” and they stopped asking questions and let me go back and shoved a bunch of forms in my face to sign on his behalf. That is an interesting question, though. But I suppose that is part of the point – you don’t have to “prove” that you are a spouse but if you are something other than that, you might have to “prove” some sort of legally significant relationship…
Singlutionary // September 28, 2009 at 10:21 pm |
I would lie too. I don’t care if it is legal or not. But there might be problems with actually filing out the paperwork if you’re not actually a relative.
I am glad to hear that your husband is OK! Phew!
iol. // October 1, 2009 at 9:38 am |
I’ll echo what Singlut. said – I’m also glad that hubby is OK!
Nicky // October 5, 2009 at 1:56 pm |
Fitting that this post followed one on New York State. Married people do not have special visitation or medical decision making rights in NY. In NY, domestic partners – very broadly defined – have the same rights as spouses for visitation; and NO ONE has medical decision making rights without an advance directive. (AtMP has been educating New Yorkers about their rights and lobbying for a better law for the past year. )
A Florida court just announced that NO ONE has guaranteed visitation rights in that state – it’s always up to the hospital’s discretion.
more on this at http://www.unmarried.org/blog/